No words to describe...

I was utterly unprepared for what I experienced today. One of my English students is a plastic surgeon at the burn hospital where I went the other day. He mentioned that he often does skin grafts on these women and I said I'd love to watch him do that one day. Last night he asked if I'd be ready to go with him today? Of course there is nowhere I love to be more than in the hospital and especially the operating room so I agreed to go this morning. My student called at 9AM to tell me that I should hurry as the patient was already under general anesthesia and being prepped for surgery. I arrived and quickly changed my clothes into hospital scrubs and went right into the operating theater. I didn't think there was anything that could shock me or take me by surprise in a hospital setting; I've really seen a LOT in my lifetime. But what I saw this morning pretty much took my breath away and left me speechless. I wanted to say "forget it, I change my mind, I can't do this" & run out of the room. I was disturbed to think that I no longer had the guts to face such gruesome sights. But I quickly gained composure and tuned into what was going on in the room. The woman on the table looked like a huge slab of raw meat; the sight was repulsive to say the least. I began to imagine the frightened, lonely woman inside that body and my heart went out to her. What circumstances could be so desperate that a human being would douse themselves with kerosene and light a match? I became engrossed in the whole skin graft process. Thin layers of skin were shaved off her only unburned leg and put through a process of stretching and "meshing" and then laid carefully on her severely burned torso. From her neck to her thighs, there was not an inch of healthy tissue. It all had to be removed and replaced with this new thin layer of skin. I was impressed with the skill of the doctors and told them so. They seemed very happy for the encouragement, something I'm sure they rarely get in this culture. The chief surgeon put both arms up like Superman because I called him a hero. After watching the skin grafts for awhile, we went to another room where I observed a major operation underway. That one didn't bother me near as much. Perhaps it's because I had talked to these burn victims a few days ago and knew their stories; their life of pain has just begun and will never end until they die.