Crying for help

This morning I visited the emergency hospital where all burn victims are sent. I accompanied a journalist friend who is visiting from the US. She wants to set up a website where Kurdish stories can be told. One of her passions (and mine) is to document the plight of women in this country and the desperate measures they go to in order to get out of their miserable circumstances in life. I had heard that many women here commit suicide by burning themselves. The sad thing is that many of them do not die! We visited 8 of those women today and their stories are heart-breaking. Because of huge family shame, they all have a story of how it happened but everyone knows the truth. The first woman we met was swollen beyond recognition and wrapped in bandages from head to foot. We learned that her 17 year-old daughter had tried to rescue her as her body was enveloped in flames; she was also severely burned and had just died this morning of her wounds. Doctors told us that every day they carry away 3-4 women who succumb to their severe burns. Those that are more than 60% burned have about a 100% chance of dying. For 3 hours we went from room to room, listening to lies & fabricated stories, trying to piece things together to get to the REAL story. At times I would stay outside with the family member, usually a mother or a sister of the victim, while the journalist and translator (who's my best friend)went inside and talked to the patient. Often the story I got from the mother was totally different from what the burned woman was telling. By the end of the morning, we learned the questions to ask that would bring out the truth. Rejected, lonely, helpless & without hope, these women feel they have no other recourse than to end their lives. One mother told me that her daughter lived in her husband's family's house. He was an only boy and adored by his mother. They hated her because she wore pants and refused to cover her head. Right there, I could imagine the whole scenario and how awful her life must be. She is only 21 and has 2 children, married when she was 14. Her mother asked me if the scars would go away. When I told her NO, big tears welled up in her eyes. Her poor daughter is covered from the waist up with huge, oozing bandages and she thinks she's going to avoid having scars for the rest of her life. Someone told her there's a cream that will make them disappear! Another young girl, 6 months pregnant and burned over 48% of her body. The baby survived but it's still not known if the mother will make it. Another very young girl, 2 months pregnant...she was itching all over as her wounds began to heal. I told her she should put cream on her stomach to keep from itching so badly. She said they told her the baby would be deformed if she put cream on her stomach! I gave her a tube of lotion that I had in my purse and told her to cover herself with lotion and nothing would happen to her baby! Oh the lies and old wives' tales that they feed one another; it makes me crazy. The statistics are daunting; 90% of burn victims are women. In the past 10 months, there have been over 200 women who have been admitted to this one hospital with severe burns and the doctors all know they are suicide cases, though the truth is never voiced because of FEAR. One lady told us that they once had 3 women admit to trying to kill themselves and when they went back the next day, they were all dead. We were told that the family most likely poisoned them because they brought shame to them. It is truly a hopeless situation because those that survive are kept hidden in the home for the rest of their lives; never allowed to be seen in public with their scars lest someone find out the truth and mar the family name. If only we could go to those women, shut away forever, and tell them that there IS hope. If only we could put our arms around them and let them know that they are loved & still beautiful in God's sight. I pray that the loving heavenly Father will come to them in a dream and let them know how much he loves them. I pray that somehow they will reach out to Him and find the hope they so desperately need! I dare not include photos here as they are too gruesome for most eyes to behold. Just PRAY for these women.