I know I keep using the word "hopeless" to describe the situation with these babies but that is the word that constantly comes to my mind as I care for them each Tuesday. Today I arrived early and 2 of the babies were crying. 4 were the same as last week and 3 of them were new. The others had gone on to an orphanage to live out their lives there. I thought I'd go up to the other floor and try to get the bottles early but they weren't ready yet. So I wandered around and looked at the huge nurseries full of preemies. I counted 20+ teeny, weeny babies in incubators in the one room and only one nurse caring for them. I actually felt a deep sadness, remembering my tiny little baby who died 28 years ago, knowing that had she been born today, she probably would have lived. These babies were so tiny that it was unimagineable that they could survive and yet they were fighting away for their lives. On the other side of the hall, were slightly larger babies with an equal ratio of baby to nurse. Another "hopeless" situation it seemed to me. The bottles were finally ready for my babies and I went back downstairs to begin feeding them. I was alone at first and had to prop a couple bottles up for the crying babies while I fed one at a time. Soon 2 other Italian nuns came to help and then we were fine. I love bathing and clothing the babies even more than feeding them. I cover their bodies with lotion and massage them and brush their hair. I wish I had nice, pretty clothes to put on them but the grungy sleepers that they provide will have to do. Then I change their crib sheets and tuck them all in, clean and fed. As I was leaving today, there was one baby that wasn't settled and I knew he'd be cryiing in no time so I picked him up and tried to settle him before I left. I thought to myself how silly that was because those babies are probably left to cry much of the day. I just had to lock my emotions in a box and walk out. I must say that it takes a couple of days for their faces to disappear from before my eyes. Until next Tuesday...
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
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3 comments:
I don't see how you do that! And yet it must be very gratifying to make a tiny difference in their little lives. What a sad situation.
oh my heart just breaks reading these stories. you have a beautiful heart, i can't even begin to imagine all the babies you have touched with your love (i know my 2 are in the count!!). you are such a blessing, i love learning from your life. i pray god gives me opportunities to demonstrate such compassion and strength and that i will walk obediently as you have!
I'll be talking to Dad for you and the Cherubs. What an awesome display of love. I can see this big smile on Dads face as you are loving on His little one's (Him in fact). What if we sent funds for clothes for the little ones.
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