A grief observed

I have just returned from 10 days in the States for my sister-in-law's memorial service. I would not have traded that precious family time for anything and was so glad I decided to go home at the last minute. Questions about death & heaven dominated most conversations as we all processed the passing of dear Jennie. We wished we could help bear some of the pain my brother was experiencing but realized that the path of deep grief is one that has to be walked alone and although painful, is somehow sacred. It is all he has left of Jennie. We will all be called at some time in our life to bear more than we think we can bear but He has promised never to leave us and he will help us to stand when we think we're going to collapse. I watched in awe as my brother grieved his most beautiful bride of 21 years; it was a picture of someone with deep faith in God who stood like a rock and praised Him in the midst of his grief. All through the day, he would break out in loud songs of praise. His faith was not shaken. I know there will be dark days ahead; I've been through the stages of grief before. But how awesome to observe the grief of a believer in Christ; it is not like the grief of others who have no hope.
At this time of year, I can't help but remember the death of my dear friend, Bonnie. It will be 6 years on November 21st. That was a dark period in my life and I still have so many questions about her senseless murder. Who are the souls who will be in heaven because of Bonnie's witness? As I think a lot about death these days, I have one enduring question that comes to mind many times a day..."Am I living my life as if this was my last day on earth?" Life is so short and none of us is promised tomorrow. I want to be found faithful when He calls me home.
Sorry this is a bit heavy, but these are heavy days. Hopefully my next blog will be more cheery!